Adamaden & the end

we had a party on my last night in village. it was all about the music. I thought about how much lives here revolve around it. they dance to it like a drug and play it from hangers during sex. I would imagine to cover their noise, and after a while to get a familiar rythme, a mutual motion. I thank Sidafa and Souleymane for running the show. Adamaden.

speaking of, work hard because people always need help. I should know, and it can be very constructive if done properly. be selfish and help those who help you. [unless you're perfect. and be sure not to make a mistake about whether you are or not. but I guess that's such a self-defined, subjective thing that those who think themselves as perfect wouldn't really understand what I'm writing. I wouldn't have before all this]

I feel responsible to write that there's always time for play. if you make the most of it, there's more time for working. [I'm used to liking longer stints of leisure that don't return as much pleasure, like not more than the pleasure I would get out of helping people with my hard work. savior complex? is this related to Adamaden? I wouldn't have realized any of this before coming and staying and loving]

then there's time for neither, for all other sorts of things. eye-openers, both beautiful and spiritual. the times you can't describe, so unique that few would understand. these experiences must be inextricably tied to your individuality, your freedom. [the savior is freedom. Adamaden?]

I wanted to write about being on my motorcycle from manantali. it makes me feel good to understand how it moves, how I move it. how to wield it. it augments freedom in our unpredictable world. [I hope I can remember to take all this wisdom, the foundations for truth and enlightenment, to the new world.] there's so many ways to ride, and they're all pretty fucking fun. so make the most out of the time you get with that pleasurable freedom.

just take whoever's most satisfying and help, work up a sweat, to return the favor. Adamaden.

manantali diyata, but I won't talk about how much so. peace Peace Corps.

I think

villagers eat fast with big handfuls til they're stuffed because that's the only way to put down food when you're missing teeth and the rest need root canals.

women are shown just as much respect here as in the states, just in completely different ways

here love is more responsibility than passion or lust

you can't understand a foreigner until you speak his language, unless you have compatible souls

rules suck, I ain't hurtin anyone; fuck you and whatever you think you can hold over my head

my personal destiny would hurt some; my personal destiny is far away on an island with my love and lovemakings; I just wanna fish or climb trees or have sex or hold my kids

I've probably lost it here, though locals have been very excited to accept me as their own; I've lost it and in that I've figured out what I really want and everything else doesn't mean shit compared to it

the more I talk about things the less likely they'll happen

I should shut up now.